Monday, March 21, 2011

I LOVE camping...

Spring break! wooo hoo!!! No School!!! woo Hoo! I'm thinking... lets go to Vegas, stay a few days, take in all the free attractions, keep it simple. Mitch is thinking... lets go camping!... now I usually quite enjoy camping. We are always with family and it is usually quite nice and relaxing once we get wherever we are going. Now on to the story of my "wonderful" spring break.
*be forewarned, this post will contain, bitching, complaining, whining and all other manner of "woe is me, woe is me"*

Friday... 1 pm.
Mitch enters the door from work... "Hi honey!, I got all the bags packed and all we have to do is run to walmart to pick up the chairs and the rest of the food, and then we are on our way :)"
So off we go to Walmart. We get everything we need, spend $50 more than we want to, but it is time to get home and get crack~a~lackin'.

Friday... 3pm
ok baby time to load up the 4-wheeler... *problem #1... The ramps for the 4 wheeler are too steep to drive up because the truck is too tall. *Problem #2... once we finally figure out how to get the 4-wheeler into the truck, the tailgate won't close... Problem #3... if we take the tailgate off then the ramps don't quite work properly anymore. Solution: load it all up, strap it in, take the tailgate off, and worry about it later...

Ok baby, 4-wheeler is loaded, all the bags and food and water and such are in the trailer, now it is just time to hitch it up and off we will ride into the sunset... oh except that the trailer has a flat tire... and it won't air up... but the good news is we have a spare. Enter Mitch with his fancy pants tire changing tools... apparently changing a trailer tire is not an easy task because the frame is so low to the ground, and when the tire is flat it is really low to the ground, and if you jack it up, the tire just spins and you can't get the lug nuts off... 1 and 1/2 hours, lots of cuss words, 2 broken fancy pants tire changing tools, and the tire got changed. I tried to remind Mitch that this was his idea and he wasn't allowed to be angry, because I wanted to go to Vegas, I don't think that helped much. ;)

Friday... 6pm
We are off!!! we go load up the ice, gas up the truck and 4-wheeler, remember we forgot the trailer crank and sunscreen (which i soooo wish we would have needed) so we ran back to the house... and then we are off. Thinks were going very smoothly until we got on the dirt road, behind a couple of trailers... who were going 5... literally... 5. My husband is prone to road rage anyway, but it is especially scary when he has guns around... lol... anyway, he risked our lives and passed them in the dust cloud... it was kind of like Russian roulette... but here we are, so apparently we dodged the bullet. We arrived at camp and started setting everything up, the weather was cold, but not terrible.

Friday 9 pm
We finally got the hamburgers cooked and they were by far the yummiest thing I think I have ever eaten . The starvation factor may have played a roll. We sat around and visited and then it was time for bed.

Friday 10 pm
We couldn't get the air mattress to air up... UGH... fine, forget it... I will sleep on the rock hard bed. anything, just find me a pillow, and I will be fine.

Friday 11 pm
Mom has been up since 4 am, and it is way past her bedtime... We have all gone pee, brushed our teeth, gotten into pajamas and I close my eyes only to remember that we forgot a pullup... Drayden has this little problem, he pees the bed... like every single night! at home we have plastic on the bed and I just let him pee he has to wash his laundry and I am hoping it will help him stop, plus he HATES pullups, anyway... the dreaded realization that we are camping and the odds of him not peeing in the bed are slim to none... so up we get. It kind of reminded me of the scene in Apollo 13 where they have to fit the square peg in the round hole... We assessed our options. Pads or size1 diapers.... diapers are more absorbent... gorilla glue, or electrical tape... electrical tape is much easier to clean up... So in a fit of laughter Mitch and Drayden fashioned a makeshift pull up out of size one diapers and electrical tape.

Saturday 12 am
The wind starts to blow... really hard... we are in a tent trailer... from 1976... made of canvas... on the edge of a ravine... let the praying begin...

Saturday 3 am...
WAAAAAHHAAAHHAAA ... insert boob in baby's mouth... continue praying as the wind has escalated...

Saturday 7 am...
The dreaded "I must pee now before I explode" feeling. I carefully inch my way out of the sleeping bag, trying not to wake up the baby, or anyone else. Now I feel very blessed because my wonderful amazing saint of a father in law let us use his extra port-a-potty... but it was right in the middle of the trailer... for all to see... but I didn't care... I had to go NOW! ahhhh relief... then Drayden says, "mommy, I need to pee too" Ok, ... wait, does that mean you didn't pee in the bed? WOOHOO!! a dry diaper electrical tape contraption... *thank you father in heaven*

Saturday 8 am..
by now everyone is awake and freezing cold... the wind is still whipping outside, but the boys are out cooking breakfast so all is well.

Saturday 8:30 am
Special delivery of a heater from my aforementioned saint of a father in law, and Hot chocolate from his equally saint like daughter... *thanks JoDee, and Glen ;)

Saturday 10:00 am
The baby is sleeping, Drayden is wearing an adult size XXL sweatshirt to keep warm, when he tried to shut the trailer door he slammed his thumb in it... *Drayden has a very, very low pain tolerance, and he screams like a girl. half an hour later, he stopped wailing, but continued milking the injury for the remainder of the trip. "Dray, will you hand me that blanket?" "I can't my thumb hurts." UGGGHHH... anyway needless to say that ended the baby's nap for the morning as well.

Saturday 12:00
The weather cleared out a bit and the kids played outside, went on 4-wheeler rides, caught and released frogs, and had a good old time. It was still too cold outside for the baby, so Me, brittany, annie, and grams stayed inside and played phase 10. I won. :)

Saturday 3 pm
Mitch pokes his head in and tells us to get down because someone is shooting and the bullets are whizzing past our camp. Joy. Mitch drove down the road, dodging bullets, my knight in shining armor and told the idiots to knock it the hell off... You must shoot responsibly... jerks.

Saturday 4 pm.
The boys break out the guns and start shooting. I was really worried about Annie because some of the guns are really loud, but she loved it... silly kid. The louder the better. I covered her ears really well, but every time she heard a shot go off she would just grin and laugh. What a wierdo.

Saturday 6 pm
We started to get dinner ready, dutch oven potatoes... my favorite. with strawberry shortcake for dessert. YUM... at this point I had not seen hide, nor hair of my sweet husband all day, because he was out having fun, doing camping stuff, and I was stuck in the trailer. blah...

Saturday 8 pm..
The rain starts... and the wind starts up again.

Saturday 10 pm.
We are all snuggled down in bed. I fell right to sleep. The rain on the canvas was like a lullaby.

Sunday 12:00...
Hungry baby... MUCH colder than last night... no more rain though...

Sunday 6:00...
Mitch has to pee... lol... he daintily steamrolls over Annie and I... oh joy... now we are wide awake. He gets Drayden up... and holy answer to prayers he didn't pee again! woohoo!!

Sunday 8 am..
another special deliver of a heater, and hot chocolate... I love mitch's family... they are amazing campers.

Sunday 10 am...
The wind finally stopped so we built a fire. The kids were standing around getting warm... Drayden kept wanting to play with firey sticks. I probably had to tell him no 5 times. When I left the fire I did so with strict instructions NOT to touch any more sticks...

Sunday 10:05 am
WWWAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH...... Chantel and Drayden were fighting over a firey stick, and chantel got the firey end right in the upper lip. it is nice and blistered. joy.

Sunday 11 am...
we finally get everything loaded (the ramps worked just fine without the tailgate) and a tiny bit of sun shines down on camp. Mitch starts making plans in his head to go on another 4-wheeler ride. I simultaneously loose my mind and tell him that if he doesn't drive me home RIGHT THE HELL NOW I am going to have a nervous breakdown and die.

Sunday 12:00 pm
I stand in the shower reflecting on my HORRIBLE camping trip, and realize how lucky I am... While things did not go as planned, and it really wasn't much fun for me, I hope that my husband and my kids had a good time. Sometimes being the mom just isn't much fun, but having a happy family with a nice warm house and a comfy bed to come home to is more than i could ever hope for.

All in all I really did not have fun, but I guess I could give it another chance... hopefully it will be warmer. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go unload the trailer and start the endless task that is the Laundry.


Brittney said...

haha, sounds like thank goodness for in-laws! I love how blunt you are. I stopped by your work and the girl said you were camping. I hope you tell her your fun story! :)

Michelle said...

HAHAHAHA I just love you, Lynnette! I love reading your posts! You're seriously halarious! You're a trooper for going camping, I would've opted out I think and let the older kids go with their dad.:)

Doty Family said...

We went camping too, but our trip went a little better than yours :), sorry love! It's the memories. Sometimes it is't fun being the mom, but it sure is worth it!

Hopie said...

And all the reasons I hate camping too!!! All work and no fun. Find a luxury beach resort for me, y'all can do the mountain thing!!! Glad you lived!!!

Brian and Hillary said...

That doesn't sound like much fun at all. I probably would of been in the same situation. I don't mind camping, but it is a little harder with babies and coldness.

Hope your next camping trip goes a little better.