today...

Today started off pretty rotten. I basically had an emotional breakdown. The stress of all my kids being sick... including my one month old baby... the amount of bills coming in and the lack of money coming in, the laundry, the dishes, and all the usual everyday stresses that come with being an adult. I sat there... staring at the pan of gravy I had forgotten about from last night... I started to cry. Then Annie started coughing... and I cried harder. I didn't really know what to do next... so I called my mommy. She told me to go feed the baby and she would be right over. So I did... and she was. She gathered me up in her arms and said, "I know how you feel... now just imagine having 8 kids to worry over!" (I cant even begin to imagine!) She then shoved her keys in my hands and told me to go clear my head. She made me pinkie promise to come back... There is really only one place i could think to go... so i went and sat on the temple steps... after i got myself together i realized that i was free of children... so i went to DI...(my favorite store) and looked around for a while. Fast forward several hours... I got in the car and said a little prayer. I needed strength. My boobs were hurting like crazy so I knew it was past time to be home... I asked heavenly father to help me be a better mom... a better wife, and a better person. I am pretty sure I have been suffering some post partum depression. Which is really weird and not at all part of my normal character. I would never describe myself as a depressed person, but lately I have been. Anyway I had another good cry there in the parking lot, and put it in drive. When I got home my jaw hit the floor. My sweet, half blind, diabetes stricken mother and my 5 year old daughter had cleaned my house from top to bottom. Every dish, every stitch of clothing... spotless. *cue the tears* There were no words. I don't know if anyone has ever cleaned your house for you, but I tell you what, that is love. She kissed me, and told me not to wait until I was desperate to call... I promised I wouldn't. Then Chantel and I proceeded to make Banana muffins, delivered some to the neighbors. (serving others helps you forget about yourself... true story.) Then the whole family... (even Mitch!) played Yahtzee... lots of smiles, no fighting! (maybe they could sense my emotional instability?) Tacos for dinner... YUMMY! Then our home teachers popped in... they had heard Annie was sick and wanted to know if they could help. I asked them to give her a blessing. They did. I immediately felt better. (thanks again guys!) Then we did homework... then we said nigh time prayers and read stories... then we sat on my bed trying to get Annie to sleep by listening to our favorite primary songs on YouTube... and now I am lying next to the man I love... I am blessed. I know it, but I think my brain hasn't quite grasped the concept yet... emotionally I am still fighting an uphill battle, but I shall prevail... I am determined to become the happy, bubbly, person I know is hiding inside. Thanks for letting me vent... better out than in... =) and now I am going to go to sleep... This day has a happy ending after all!

my lazy life...

aah how I will miss the cuddles, and the lazy days of just sitting around watching judge shows and practicing my photography.

It makes me so happy to make memories with my babies.

I just have to cherish every moment.

because all too soon they will be gone...

So even though I am sad, that my lazy life is almost over, and I will soon be back to run, run run, I must be strong. I will be strong. I have faith. All is well. I simply have to make every moment together count. That way the moments apart won't hurt so much.

~all my love

NETTIE

The Dress...

I went to the craft store in search of inspiration. I knew I needed to find a pattern that was super super simple. No fancy sleeves, or collars, and especially no button holes... I hate making button holes. I landed on this little number. I knew that I was going to have to make some alterations in order to make it a little more grand. I was seriously not sure if I could pull it off. I haven't sewn since Mrs. Heaton so lovingly helped me with every stitch of my pajama pants in the 8th grade. (thanks dot!) ;)

So the pattern was chosen. It said I would need 1 1/8 yard of the main fabric and 1/4 yard of an accent fabric. I had no faith whatsoever in my abilities, so I got 3 yards of the satin and 1 yard of the overlay, just in case I screwed it up royally and had to start all over. I didn't want to have to go back to the craft store!

I already had these funky, beautiful freshwater pearls. I love them because they are not uniform in shape, and they have an old brassy look to them.

After painstakingly altering the pattern to be longer (which was way harder than it sounds, and probably more so than it should have been) I simply had to sew in the pleats... and sew the front and back together. Finished off the sleeves, and added in the neckline. Sewed a zipper in the back, and that made up the basic body of the dress.

Then it was time to dress it up! The pattern shows a big bow on the neckline, which was really pretty. I tried three times. I cannot sew a bow. I know it is lame, but it is so true. it looked awful! So I got my little brain wheels spinning and came up with the rosette idea.

I had to serge around the edges of the sheer fabric because it frays so easily. I was worried that it would look horrible, as there was no way to hide the serged edges, and naturally I had tan string in my serger, and no white to be found! (out of moral obligation, I could not return to the craft store just to buy string) So I took a leap of faith and started making them. I actually love the way they turned out. I think the serged edges give them dimension, and it works well with the brassy colored pearls.

So after 2 days of cutting, stitching, pinning, unpicking, and re-sewing... I have reached the end. I am so impressed that I really pulled it off. It is far from perfect. My seams don't all match up, and my "straight" stitches are rather wavy, but it looks great from a distance! lol... As I was literally sewing on the last of the rosettes, I thought, UGH! I wish I would have made it out of my wedding dress! But alas... I did not screw it up, so I had to reason to start over... but how cool would that be?! oh well... maybe I will make one for one of my grandchildren... anyway... I love the dress... =)

sleep...

We are still trying to adjust to life with a baby. It is quite time consuming. I am not sure how things are going to work when I have to go back to work, but I have faith that it will work out how it should.

I have to put in a plug for the hospital binkies... they are irreplaceable. They actually sell these at walmart and target now, but they are not the same! They look the same, but they are not soft like the hospital ones. I swear if we loose this binkie I am going to cry.

Annie May is getting bigger every day, it is crazy how much they change, so quickly. I can't believe she is almost a month old already! Don't you just wanna kiss her???

I think she is a beautiful baby, but we are still struggling with sleep. I try to keep her awake during the day, but it is alot harder than it seems. She wakes up around 11 and stays awake for at least 4 hours... it is not fun. If anyone has any ideas or has had to deal with a mixed up baby, please, pretty please, share your knowledge... I must start sleeping soon, or the bags under my eyes are going to explode... =)

Daddy's little girl...

What is daddy's favorite part of his baby girl? The chubby cheeks... they are so dang kissable!

*SMOOCH*

I love this one... it really does melt my heart. My husband looks a little rough around the edges, but he is the biggest softie I know! And on a totally unrelated note, I love that Mitch is getting lots of gray hair in his beard... very salt and pepper, sean connery... HANDSOME... YUMMY... GGRRAAWWWRRR!!!! 3 more weeks... dang! *tapping fingernails impatiently* ;) anyway... back to the baby...

She hates the sexy scratchy whiskars... =) it makes me smile... have a happy day!

all my girls...

Loving on the Annie bug... =) does life get any better? I am sure going to miss these lazy days of sitting around at home just loving on my babies. I really don't want to go back to work, but alas... the bills are already piling up, and although my husband works his butt off for us, in this economy it is simply not cutting the cookie. I am blessed to have a great job, I just need to get out of my lazy mind set! I get three more weeks of heaven, then its off to the grind stone.

triplets?

Annie

Drayden

Chantel
I think they all look alot alike. the nose... same... The chin... same

poor baby

So many people to love the baby! poor thing! lol! There is not a single moment of the day that she is not being held, or kissed, or loved. I think she is a pretty lucky girl to have 2 big sisters that fight over who gets to hold her.

And then there is mommy... who puts her naked little body in boxes and cobers her in bows and such... just for that perfect shot.

It just seems like these moments fade so quickly. I know I don't really need 500 photos of baby Annie, but I just can't help myself.

She is so little and helpless...

She can't fight back like the other kids!

She just has to lay there... because she has no means of escape.

Mitch calls it torture.

I call it adorable. He will thank me later... I'm sure of it. I just can't wait until he is all helpless... then I will strip him down and take his picture too! lol... hopefully I will still have enough sense not to put those on my blog ;) lol.

sleep...

I sure wish my baby knew that night time was the right time to sleep. =(

She seems to look alot like this at night... except not so calm...

There is alot of screaming. A few days ago I woke up... (which means I actually went to sleep at some point) and looked over at Mitch... I was like, "WOW... Annie actually slept last night!"... to which he replied... "NO. YOU slept last night." lol... I guess that is just what happens when you get to a certain point of sleep deprivation. Your body takes over and you sleep nomatter what kind of catastrophe is happening around you. lol. Thank goodness I have a sweet husband who took over when I shut down.

I am starting a new very strict diet regimen... in the hopes that my baby will be happier and healthier, and so will my waistline.

I swear she is the cutest baby ever! I am so totally biased... but I love her so much!

the only thing cuter...

What is the only thing cuter than tiny little baby girl toes???

PINK Tiny little baby girl toes... =)

The 'ability' cord

The first thing on Chantel's agenda was to give Annie a bath. I told her that we couldn't give her a bath until her umbilical cord fell off. Her face literally deflated when I told her it usually takes about 2 weeks.

On day 4 I was changing Annie's diaper and Chantel started freaking out. "MOM! MOM!! look her 'ability' cord is gone!!!" I laughed so hard, it was so cute! Of course we had to drop everything and bathe the baby right that very second. I was surprised that her cord fell off so fast, I swear it usually seems to take forever!

Annie loved it! She was totally chill just hanging out in the nice warm water.


We wrapped her all up in a nice snuggly towel, took her in and lotioned her with some classic pink baby lotion and she smelled so good I just sat there for 10 minutes and breathed her in. (you can tell it's winter when my skin goes from pale to 'Edward Cullen'... lol)

after a while of smelling the little cutie we had our daily photoshoot, she pooped on the white blanket, and Mitch told me is served me right for torturing his baby girl. I had to remind him that he bought me a new lens for my camera so DUH I'm gonna use it! Besides, she is the cutest thing ever~